Pretty Beggars
by Oliviapple
Summary: After being felt up by her creepy boss, Bella decides to take matters into her own hands. Although there are some things in life that you just can't control... Rated M, drabbles  ish
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone!**

**I'm new to fanfiction, so please go easy on me. **

**Disclaimer - I own nothing Twilighty.**

**This was originally meant to be a 'drabble fic' but I couldn't fit everything I wanted to into drabble-ish chapters, so all of them will be about this length. **

**Please remember, this is _fiction._ References I make to things in real life are merely me taking the name and the place of them and changing everything else about them until it fits in the story.**

**Updating schedule - Once every 2 or 3 days.**

**Rated M for language, lemons and all round adult ****shenanigans**

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><p>Pretty Beggars - Chapter One<p>

_'And so, when Sue Clearwater grabbed the innocent puppy by the scruff of it's neck and saved it from certain death, she instantaneously became the Wonder Woman in the eyes of the town. The owners of the dog, Billy and Sarah Black say, "We are completely indebted to Sue. She saved our puppy. We love you, Sue!"_

_'This report was written by Isabella Swan.'_

"Why do they make you write your full name at the end?" Jake said - well, that's what I thought he said, as he had a mouth full of taco. I rolled my eyes.

"Because that's my name." I said simply.

"Yeah, well." He continued to grumble. I turned my back on him and fired off my report to my hated boss.

_Mike Newton._ I even _thought _the name with disgust. He had no respect for his employees. He never gave promotions or any raises in salary to anyone other than his favourites. Not surprisingly, all of those people were skinny, leggy, booby blondes. And the rest of us had to work our asses of just to get through the day.

"Uh-oh. Here comes the Bogey Monster." Jake said, his tone teasing. I snickered. Ever since we'd caught him picking his nose in his office - which he seemed to have forgotten was made out of clear glass - that had been his nickname. It had spread around the office, and now that was what he was known as to everyone. Some poor kid accidentally said it to someone while Mike was standing right behind him. Safe to say, he was fired straight away.

"Can I have your attention please?" The BM said in a nasal voice. All of us swivelled on our chairs slowly, showing him that we'd rather do anything that give him our attention.

"As you are probably aware, Mount St. Helen is due to erupt any day now." He began. His voice made we want to facepalm myself. I felt so embarrassed for him. "And one of you lucky people is going to get the chance to visit Skamania County, where Mount St. Helens is situated to get the latest. You will be staying there for a week. All expenses will be paid." The silence following his little speech was so stony that I swear that I seen a tumbleweed roll by.

"Yes, well." He cleared his throat. "There are enough leaflets to go around up the front here. If you're interested, put your name in this box and the lucky person will be chosen tomorrow, at random." Again, no-one moved. "Have a nice day." He nodded, and awkwardly shuffled off.

Quiet chatter began to slowly fill the room again as this information sunk in. Me and Jake exchanged interested glances.

"I'm totally signing up for that. Are you?" Alice asked me, walking into my tiny cubicle, with Rose following close behind.

I was surprised that the BM didn't take a liking to Rose. She fit all of his criteria and more. She had the figure of a model, long, shiny blonde hair and she was extremely clever. I think he was just intimidated by her, more than anything else.

"Eh, I dunno." I shrugged.

"Why not?" Rose and Jake asked at the same time.

"I don't know. Probably too many conditions. He gets his pleasure out of fucking us around."

They all nodded at the same time. "True dat." Jake agreed. "But still. It's a free holiday. It'd be a chance to get that promotion you've always dreamed off, Bells!"

_Ha. Fat chance of that happening._ Jake, Rose and Alice were all at least 2 positions above me in this place. They even had their own office - each. I was stuck in a cubicle next to interns straight from college. I had worked here 4 years and not gotten anywhere further than the staff toilet.

But Alice nodded excitedly at Jake's statement. "That's true! I know you'll get it one day, Bells. You're so capable of it! You've just got to believe in yourself."

"Spare me the crap, Ali. I'm getting nowhere."

"Bells-"

"Don't 'Bells' me. I'm leaving. I need alcohol, and I need it now. You wanna come with?"

"Hell yeah." Rose agreed. Jake and Alice both nodded too and the three of them went to get their coats off of the fancy coat hangers next to their offices. I grabbed mine off of the back of my chair.

As we were walking out the notice caught my eye. _Mount St. Helens trip - Ask Mike for deets!_

I internally cringed for him. Deets? This wasn't the 90's. And he wasn't Perez Hilton, so, yeah.

But I told Jake, Ali and Rose that I was just going in to ask about it, and I'd be back out in five minutes.

I knocked quietly on the door. "Mike?"

"Come in." He said through his nostrils as I opened the door, and was immediately bombarded with the smell of stale sex, cheap beer and sweat. I fought the intense urge to gag as I shuffled my feet towards the desk, that he had is feet on - did I mention he was wearing socks with sandals?

"What is it you choose to consolidate with me, Isabella?" He said in that disgusting voice of his. He seemed to think that using larger words would make him look smarter. It just made him look like an idiot, but whatever.

"I was hoping to ask about the trip to Mount St. Helens." I stammered my way through the sentence. As soon as I opened my mouth the scent of the room bombarded my taste buds and my gag reflex. I managed to stay calm - just - for the sake of my job.

"Oh yes. Well, pop your name in the box and a winner will be chosen tomorrow."

"What about the dates? When does the winner leave? When do they get back? Where do they stay when they're there? What do they-"

"Relax, Isabella. One step at a time. I will tell the winner that tomorrow. No need for word to be spreading round the office like wildfire, making everyone jealous of the winner. You see?"

_No. I do not see at all._

"Yes."

"Good. Any other questions?"

"Er...just one. Isn't it slightly dangerous for one of us to go and stay next to a volcano that is about to erupt?"

He grinned, rather creepily in my face as he took his sock-and-sandalled feet off of the desk and leaned towards me. I could smell his breath on my face and it took all the will power in me not to vomit all over his desk.

"Are you afraid of the lava?"

"Um...I think any sane person would be."

"Would the lava be to hot for you to handle?"

_Oh my God. Leave. Now. Screw your job. This man is a creep!_

"Um...well it would burn your face off, so yes."

"Aw poor wittle Isabewwa." He said in a baby voice. I felt bile rising in my throat. One of his slimy hands slithered across the desk cupped my tit. "Afraid of the hot, sticky lava, spurting out of a-"

"I have to go, goodbye!" I all but ran out of his office and slammed the door behind me, glad to be breathing some half-clean air and to be away from that creep.

"Bells? You look a little pale, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." My chest was heaving up and down. The smell of that room had gone to my head and so had the smell of his breath and his voice saying disgusting things and-

"Move out the way!" I all but screamed as I ran to the nearest plantpot and threw up all of my lunch into it. Rose came over to hold my hair out of the way.

"If it helps any, I put your name in for the volcano competition."

And then I proceeded to throw up again.

After I'd wiped my mouth on one of the leaves, thoroughly killing it, I turned round and was greeted by Ali holding a mint out for me to take. I took it and popped it in my mouth. "Thanks." I said, grateful.

"Now, would you mind telling us what the heck that was for?" Jake asked, shocked.

"Sure...but first, can we put this plantpot next to his door?"

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><p><strong>Hehe. I'd love to know what you thought! <strong>

**'Til next time, mis amigos **

**/olivia**


	2. Chapter 2

Pretty Beggars - Chapter Two

Sitting at the bar, with my fourth or fifth apple martini in hand, I was beginning to feel a lot better.

"...So then, I ran out of his office, and that's when I puked in the plant pot." I finished my little story, slurring slightly but nevertheless had caught their attention.

"So...you're telling me that he actually put his slimy hands on your tit?" Rose asked, incredulous.

"Yeah. But over my top, though." I said. I realised I sounded like I was defending him, so quickly added, "That doesn't make it any better, though. He's still a little wormy slimeball."

"Hell yeah he is. Next time I see him..." Rose trailed off, making a very violent gesture with her hands.

We all clapped and cheered at this. "You get him, Rose!" Jake whooped. "Another round of martini's I think, ladies?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Alice laughed. We all laughed with her and set our glasses down on the bar.

"I think I need to piss. See you guys in 2." Jake told us as he staggered towards the guys' bathroom.

"Lightweight!" Rose said, and we all snickered in unison.

"Well well well, looks like you ladies had a harsh day at work." The guy behind the bar laughed, with a thick Southern accent. "Everythang alraht at the office?" I heard Ali's dreamy sigh from the right of me.

We all turned to look at her. She was staring dreamily at the guy, who stuck out his hand across the bar to her. "Name's Jasper, darlin.' What's yours?"

"A-Alice." She stammered, and gulped loudly. Me and Rose were silently killing ourselves laughing at their little exchange.

"What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I think y'all can have these on the house." He said, winking at Ali.

"Oh no, you really don't have to-" Ali begun, when Rose cut in, "Thanks ever so much!" And glared at Ali.

"When offered free drinks, never turn them down." She whispered harshly to her. I smiled awkwardly at Jasper. "I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you, Bella. Say, are y'all meetin' anyone here?"

"No. Why?"

"Just wonderin'. Say, pretty girl," He turned to face Ali. "You wanna go on a date with me sometime?" Ali's jaw fell so far down it nearly hit the floor. She snapped it shut with a quiet little _click_ of her teeth.

"Um...but...we only j-just..met...and I-"

"She would love to!" I cut in.

Alice shot me daggers. "If looks could kill, my friend." I sang as I tapped her nose.

"If looks could kill, you'd have been dead a long time before now." She muttered, but loud enough for me to know she was joking. I laughed.

"Awesome." Jasper said, flashing Ali a wicked grin. "Say, here's my number. Don't hesitate to just give me a call, will ya now?" He said, while handing her a scrap of paper with a number scrawled in blotchy, blue ink.

"I won't." Ali promised, giving him an equally as devious smile.

-x-

"Ugh. I _hate_ that little snake." Rose said, who still hadn't moved on from the incident with Mike earlier that day.

"So do I, my friend, so do I." I said, pouring us some more shots. We had somehow found our way to my apartment and had found the emergency vodka stash.

"You know what Bells? I think you should _vent._" Rose said, like it was the smartest thing since sliced bread.

"Vent? I have air-con. Are you trying to say my apartment smells? 'Cus if you are I'm gonna-"

"No, no." She laughed. "You should find a way to get rid of your hatred towards that man. Write it down. Make notes on your iPhone, yada yada." She waved her hand, to indicate that that part of the conversation was over. She leaned over and started to say something to Jake and Ali, but I had tuned out. I took out my iPhone and began to flip through my Facebook. Nothing interesting going on.

_I might as well start 'venting' right now._

I clicked on the 'type here' section on my screen and wrote down a sentence or two about my day. I tucked my iPhone back in my pocket. Strangely enough, I felt better already.

-x-

As I walked into my office the next day, I noticed that everybody there was staring at me. I mentally ridiculed myself. Had I tucked my skirt into my panties again?

I was halfway to my cubicle when I realised Mike was standing outside his office in his stupid light pink suit, tapping his shoe on the floor.

"Care to explain what this is?" He said, pointing to the plantpot. I felt myself going red.

"I, um-"

"I don't want your silly explanations, Miss Swan. I want you in my office in 5 minutes. We need to have a _very_ serious conversation. I would also like to discuss your recent Facebook status update." With that he flounced back into his 'office.'

What the fuck? What status update? I ignored my colleagues stares and went to sit in my cubicle and logged on to Facebook.

Oh. My. Fuck.

_Bella Swan, 01:18 am: Bad day in the office to say the least...my boss is the King of creeps, and that's putting it nicely. He is such a perv! Ugh. Kill me now!_

Shit.

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><p><strong>Anyone out there?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"You wanted to see me, Mike?"

I managed to form a coherent sentence in the midst of his vile smelling office. His light pink suit made me want to burst out laughing, but I had to keep my mouth in a tight line so I didn't gag. I was probably going to get fired, so I could laugh at him after that anyway.

"Yes, I did indeed, Isabella. May I first of all ask why there is vomit in my plant?" He said, his face completely serious. A laugh burst out of me but I quickly covered it up with a cough.

"Er..."

"I'm expecting a fuller answer than that, Isabella. You _are_ a journalist. Your whole career depends on words. Yet you cannot answer a simple question? Tut tut." He said, smirking at me, which just made him look like a snail.

"Why are you accusing _me _of puking in it? There are at least 50 other people in this office." I said, proud of myself.

"Because, in case you can't remember, I have access to all of the CCTV cameras in this building."

Oh.

"Well you see, Mr Newton-" I was turning into such an ass kisser. "I wasn't feeling very well yesterday at all, and the thought of...er, going to get reports about volcanoes gives me the willies."

"I see. So, care to explain your Facebook status to me?" He said, his face growing smugger with every word. I decided then that I couldn't give two shits about this crappy job. I could find work somewhere else. I stood up out of the ratty old chair and put my sternest face on.

"Well, you see Mike, you are a slimy, disgusting fartball that has no respect for anyone or anything that isn't a leggy, whorish blonde who'll have sex with you in this office. I'd say I was surprised that us out there-" I jerked my thumb in the general direction of the cubicles, "-can't hear you going at it, but I'd be lying. Obviously those hoes aren't gonna be pleased by a dick the size of a maggot." I screamed. "Just because us normal people who actually have to _work_ for a living instead of offering our bodies to our boss for a freakin' pay rise, you don't treat us the same? Fuck this job. Seriously, fuck it. You need to grow the fuck up, Mike Newton." I stomped over to the door and slammed it behind me.

Everyone had their heads over the tops of their cubicles, staring silently at me. Someone began to clap slowly, and soon I was receiving a standing ovation. I started laughing, feeling exhilerated. I waved to everyone and made my way towards the exit doors.

"Isabella, wait right there!" Mike's adenoidal voice yelled. I thought I'd finally escaped from it. Obviously not.

He turned to face the whole office. "The winner of the Mount St Helens trip is Tanya Denali!" He announced.

No surprise that that whore won. No-one clapped.

I laughed without humor. _This place is a joke._ I turned to leave once again before Mike called out for me once again, "Isabella, wait!"

"Why the fuck should I wait? I don't work at this shit hole anymore. I'm fed up of you shoving me and everyone else around. And you can stick that trip right up your-"

"I'm sending you to Florida!" He shouted.

Da fuck?

"What the hell, Mike?"

"I'm sending you to Florida!" He repeated.

"I heard you, dumbass. I have ears. I don't know what the fuck you mean."

"You wanted respect, so you got it. There's been UFO sightings and extra-terrestrial activity going on in Florida. I was going to ask someone to go there and cover for us, but seeing as you wanted something, you can have this." He said, like he was giving me the chance of a lifetime.

"No, Mike." I said, like I was explaining something to a two year old. "I didn't ask to be sent away on a fancy fucking trip. I asked for respect. And for you to fucking clean your office, it smells like a whore house. Probably is, mind you."

"I'm going to ignore those last comments. Isabella-"

"My name is _Bella_. It has been for the last four fucking years."

"_Bella_, please go to Florida for me?"

"For you? Ha. That's the funniest thing since...well, since you bought that suit. You look like a giant blob of cotton candy."

"Isabella-"

"Bella!"

"Bella, you have until the end of this week to come back to my office and tell me if you are going or not." I just snorted. Who did he think he was?

I turned to smile at the spectators we had gathered and walked the fuck out of there.

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><p><strong>Dun dun dun...!<strong>

**Hehe. Reviews = faster updates...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in about a century. I took a bit of a bump to the head and my attention span has been zilch (not that it was particularly high before).**

**This chapter is kinda short but this is the length most of them are gonna be from now on, so there will be more updates. Hehe. Rather strategic of me.**

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><p>Okay, I caved.<p>

Don't blame me. A single mid-twenties woman, who still needed money to pay the rent...there was no other option. No other place would take me. Who would, considering the fact that I puked in my bosses plantpot, told him that his office smelled like a whore house and that he looked like a giant blob of cotton candy? No-one. Exactly.

So the next day I put on the shirt that made my boobs look good and my skirt that made my ass look good and the shoes that made my legs look good and strutted in like I owned the fucking place.

I walked (quite impressively, given the height of my heels) to the receptionist. Renesmee, her name was. She always was an odd one. Huge, round spectacles and a perm that grew bigger everyday. Tie-dye clothing, the ink stains around her mouth from chewing on her pen, the mis-matching shoes that she never seemed to notice. In a way, I kind of liked her. Admired her.

"Hey, Renesmee." I greeted her, leaning against the counter and pushing my ass out slightly in case Mike walked past. I know it was a low blow, but...hey. I was desperate

"Hey, Bell!" She was the only person who had ever called me that. "I loved the show you put on yesterday. Kept the girls-" She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to point at the girls who sat gossiping in an office, painting their nails, "-quite busy. Had something halfway interesting to talk about." She grinned, showing off her lopsided dimples. I grinned with her.

"By the way, Bell, you're looking hot." She said. I snickered. "You want your job back, by any chance?" She looked at me knowingly, the hints of a smile still playing around her lips, but the dimples that appeared on her cheeks gave her away.

I blushed a deep red.

"Woah, Bell. Looking hot." She laughed, gesturing towards my tomato coloured face. "I'll buzz Mike, and while I do, drink some water. Cool your face down." She laughed. "If you wanna get your job back you're gonna have to look the part. He's a very shallow man. So be flirty, bat your eyelashes some, suck in your belly and push out your boobs. That ought to get you somewhere." With that, she shuffled through to the office behind and picked up an old office phone, and began speaking to who I presumed was Mike.

It was so easy to feel confident and happy around Renesmee. So easy, in fact, that you forget how freakin' worried you were beforehand.

"Isabella." I heard Mike's gurgly rasp from behind me. I gave it all I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes and scream, "It's Bella, you fool!" I turned around slowly and just about gagged.

Today he wore an even more ridiculous outfit than yesterday, if that was possible. Which it was. Here was the proof.

He was wearing a pastel yellow coloured shirt with pastel pink stripes, topped off with a pastel blue blazer-jacket. His pastel green trousers flared out at the bottom and clung to his thighs, making his skinny twigs that he passed for legs look like tree trunks. His hair was combed back with what looked to be a full tub of hair gel, and probably a full bottle of hair spray. It was revolting.

"Mike." I greeted him while batting my eyelashes, following Renesmee's advice.

"C-Come into my o-office. We-we need to talk." I resisted the urge to make a sarcastic comment, threw all my pride into the bin and followed him into his little hell-hole that he called an office.

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><p><strong>Ugh. I'm the one writing about it yet I can't help but hate Mike with all of my soul. Who's with me?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for not updating sooner. You know that bump to the head I mentioned last chapter? Apparently I was supposed to take meds for that. My bad.**

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><p>The booger monster slimed his way into a seat, and gestured for me to do the same. I sat down, pushing my chin a little higher in the air. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no snob. I just wanted to grab hold of my pride and hold onto it with everything I had.<p>

"S-so, Bella." He hissed. "I see you have come crawling b-back." He leaned back into his chair and placed his hands behind his head, in what - I could only guess - was an attempt to be sexy. A very badly failed attempt. In doing this, he unleased an unhuman smell that assaulted my nostrils and threatened to knock me out. My eyes rolled back in my head, and - I couldn't help it - I gagged.

"Are y-you rolling your e-eyes at me, Bella?" He wailed. _Man,_ his voice was high.

"No, of course not, Mike." Cue batting eyelashes ridiculously. "I was merely observing your ceiling. I see you have it painted pink. How unique."

This seemed to throw him off topic, and he removed his hands from behind his head. Thank God. "Yes, w-well, I wanted to make a s-statement." Hm. Well, at least you succeeding in one thing in life, huh Mike?

I nod stiffly.

"S-so, Bel-la." He drags out my name, and I want to ram a toilet plunger down his throat, but I wouldn't get my job back then. So I sat on my hands and internally cringed at the feeling of the scratchy material of the chair I was sitting on.

"Yes, Mike?" I said. Whenever I opened my mouth it was like being assaulted by the stench all over again. Which, essentially, I was.

"I've b-been thinking. W-we could use you b-back here at _Eclipse._ O-on one condition."

Oh God. I was going to have to have sex with him.

"Which is?" I all but squeaked.

"Remember what I offered? Before you so r-rudely stormed out of h-here yesterday?" He smirked. Eugh. I felt a shiver going down my spine.

What did he offer again? I can't remember...

"No." I said simply, waiting for him to expand.

He sighed, and spittle flew out his mouth and fell dangerously close to my clenched fist. "The trip to Florida?" Oh, yeah. That. I decided to play dumb.

"What about it?" I asked, fiddling innocently with my hair.

"I w-want you to go to F-Florida. For the company. To get information. A-and write a news report o-on it. Sound too demanding?"

"No. Not at all. When would you like me to leave?" I asked, straightening in my seat. On the outside I was all business. On the inside I was screaming away. Finally, some time in the sun and away from this hell-hole. And I didn't have to pay!

"Tomorrow morning." He said.

_What? He's obviously had no _real_ experience with women if he thinks we can leave at such short notice._

"Here's the c-company credit card. I have an appointment booked for you w-with a personal stylist who w-will have a bunch of clothes r-ready for you. Stop by here after and c-collect everything you will need for the r-report."

I snagged the credit card from his hand and felt the resistance. He had never been very good at sharing.

"Okay." I said, stood up and walked out of his 'office'. I took a breath of fresh air (well, fresh for a tiny office packed full of bodies. Anything was better than Mike's whore house.) and walked out.

I programmed the stylists' office into my GPS and began to drive. I hated all this 'personal stylist' crap but hey, if it was free, i wasn't one to complain. I just hoped he was hot.

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><p><strong>How mature, Bella. I can't deny, I feel the same about everything, LOL. Tends to happen when you're single.<br>**

**Is it just me that can't wait to get rid of Mike? Well, for a while anyway..**

**We'll be meeting Edward next chapter.. **


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